This quote is so very powerful I find it pretty difficult to add anything to it. This week we have really been frustrated with my older son saying rude and obnoxious things. It really seems like anything that comes out of his mouth is either an argument or some critique of our character. I know that we are supposed to ignore it to a certain extent and trust that this is a stage in normal teenage development, but it gets to be difficult sometimes.
Unfortunately though, I know that I myself am also guilty of saying things that I've later regretted too so I guess it can be a "stage" that can continue into adulthood if you're not careful. But this week I will remember that my words as mom have everlasting power.
One of the problems kids with ADHD have is that they tend to say whatever is on their mind at that moment and don't think about what kind of consequences lie on the other side of their comments. Lots of times the comments are funny and witty, sometimes their enormously insightful, often without intent they are rude and hurtful.
You see, it is an issue with impulse control. In a conversation, most people are able to evaluate the situation, read the other person for cues, think of consequences, and evaluate the situation again before they speak. A lot of people can't do this and say immediately whatever is on their mind without thinking of the consequences. Of course this can be a great personality trait. These people are courageous and take chances in life, or they get punched in the face. I'm hoping for great things.
Impulse control is going to start with me. Without accepting the negative behavior, I have to remember that his words more often than not are coming from a place of frustration. It's my job to help him find the words that he's searching for. He's looking at me and the other adults in his life to model what it looks like to be compassionate, to listen to others, to think before you speak and to look before you leap. Kind words are going to start with me. Wish me luck.