Monday, August 19, 2013

Why I Am a REALLY Bad Grandaughter

I should have went to go get the damn grapes.  I am such a hypocrite.  My grandmother is in the hospital and I can't help but feel that the majority of the blame lies with me and it's because I was too consumed with my own agenda to pay attention.

We just returned from a whirl-wind "vacation" to Florida, which is where I'm from originally.  We planned to stay for six days.  During that time I planned and scheduled time to get my hair done, visit with numerous family members, have a friend take my son's six month photos, and carve out time to see a few friends.  It was jammed packed, my "schedule".  During one of those days toward the end of my running out to our photo shoot my grandmother went into the hospital.

A few days before she had mentioned to me that I should go to the store to get some more grapes for us to eat.  I told her that I didn't want to go to the store.  We had too much food already and besides it was too much trouble to take the baby into the store....we did have more food in her house than anyone could eat before it went bad but the real reason is, it didn't fit into my schedule.

She was sick beginning to get sick over the weekend.  She's the kind of person who will do anything and everything for anyone so it's very hard to gauge when she needs help.  She was up over her head doing things she shouldn't have been doing at seventy years old and was wearing herself down further.  Of course she is also the type of person that always says she is fine and won't accept help either.  By the time Monday came around she was very ill.  I left the house anyway, telling her, repeating what other family told her to do, "Stay here in this chair and get some rest today".

Stay in the chair she did not, she went to the store to get grapes.  Unfortunately she didn't make it into the store.  We left her house at about 12:30 and at about 1:30 she left.  We returned home at about 5:00 from the photo session and she was not home.  Immediately I sensed something was wrong.  Shortly after, I got a phone call from a worker in the store.  The woman on the other line told me that my grandmother had a medical emergency was being put in an ambulance.  She had made it to the store and must have turned the car off and felt light headed or fell asleep from exhaustion from not sleeping the night before.  The problem was, this was Florida and it is not a great thing to fall asleep of pass out in a car in August.

We are not sure how long she sat in that car, but it doesn't take long with the windows rolled up for a car to get dangerously hot.  A worker found her and by the time the ambulance got her temperature it was a little over 104 degrees.  At the hospital it was found that she had developed pneumonia and recently we found that she has the "super bug" infection MSRA  Apparently she had this when she came to the hospital, but it's still unclear whether the pneumonia is caused by MSRA or if it was brought on by her ongoing cold.

This blog is about living the simple life.  The definition of "Simplicity" would include praise for the ability to live intentionally, pay attention to the small things in life, and honor quality time with loved ones.   It's seems pretty hypocritical for someone as self-absorbed as I apparently am to attempt this task of writing on this topic.  What a lesson this has been for me, around and round my mind I'm reminded how very fragile life can be.  In an instant someone can be gone.  We are back North now, we had to leave so my husband could return to work and my older son could start school.  Even though the words are very difficult to type, I hope I can get a chance to make amends and have another visit. This time remembering to slow down and remember not to take anyone for granted.
We all need a little TLC now-and-then. Don't forget to give yourself permission to accept support!    #caregivers #caregiving #eldercare #selfcare